Last week a student wrote to the Nardvark with a simple request:
Can you show me an example of flash-forward technique in a narrative?
Always the first
to rush to the aid of a fellow student, Nardvark promptly printed off the
email, folded it into a paper-airplane (or aeroplane), and sent it whizzing
into the mirror. He then waddled into the kitchen where he made himself a
peanut-butter, mayonnaise, and pickled-radish sandwich.
The Nardvark did
not know at the time, but the mayonnaise was off, and when the resulting
bacteria met with the acetic acid from the pickled radishes and the protein in
the peanut butter, a chemical reaction took place. As Nardvark scarfed the
sandwich, his brain chemicals changed and he developed the uncanny ability to
see into the future.
At first, Nardvark
did not realize he was suddenly blessed with such a fantastic gift. He noticed
he was getting low on pickled radishes, so he grabbed some change out of the
swear jar and headed down to the corner store.
As he waited for
the last customer to exit the store so he could enter through the open door
without having to exert any energy pulling it, his arm brushed against the
exiting customer's arm. An image exploded in his head so violently that
Nardvark fell over.
Lying on the
sidewalk (pavement), Nardvark clutched his suddenly nauseated stomach and
thought about what he had just seen in his mind's eye. A ship, a space ship,
that resembled a giant shiny metal cucumber, skimming the surface of the Earth.
Several more metal-cucumber-like space ships followed it. People ran screaming
in all directions as the ships shot hot green lasers in all directions, blowing
up houses, skyscrapers, factories, and subway stations.
A giant cucumberesque spaceship wreaks havoc in New York - AP News stock image |
What could have
caused this frightening scene?
The gentleman who
had brushed up against the Nardvark at the corner store's doorway stood over
him, a look of concern on his face. He extended a hand.
"Are you all
right? Let me help you to your feet."
Gratefully,
Nardvark grasped the man's hand. At that moment, a surge of electricity seemed
to pass between them, and in it Nardvark saw the future through the man's eyes.
The man holding his hand as he lay in front of the corner store was a Dr.
Everett Chang of Harvard's Space Technologies Faculty. Dr. Chang, in Nardvark's
vision, flicked the screen of a large computer that had just picked up a signal
from outer space.
"Greetings,
Earthling," said a sexy voice from the computer's speakers. "We come
in peace."
Dr. Chang flicked
again and gleefully sent his response. "Earth welcomes you! What time will
you arrive?"
"Around
dinner time Tuesday, if that works for you."
"Sounds
good," said Chang.
With a pained
effort, Nardvark pulled his hand out of Chang's grip. Chang looked at him in
shock. Nardvark realized he must have a terrifying look on his face, knowing
what he now knew about the future.
Nardvark got to
his feet and brushed himself off. He turned to Chang.
"Are you Dr.
Everett Chang, of Harvard's Space Technologies Faculty?"
Dr. Chang
answered, "How did you... I've never met you before in my life! I'd
remember a person as..."
"Watch it,"
Nardvark muttered.
"As
interestingly shaped as you," Chang finished.
Nardvark nodded.
Interestingly shaped would do. “Dr. Chang, have you recently made contact with
an interstellar species that promised to visit the Earth in peace next Tuesday
around dinner time?”
Chang recoiled. “No, I have not! How do you know about my work?”
He took a step back.
“I think it had something to do with the combination of peanut
butter, mayonnaise, and pickled radishes. Anyway, Chang, you absolutely must
not allow that creature to visit Earth.”
Now Chang frowned and placed his hands on his ample hips. “And why
not? If interstellar creatures contact me via the Magnum super computer radio
telescope port, I will most certainly invite them to come to Earth. Why wouldn’t
I? It would mean a Nobel prize for me!”
“No, Chang! Listen to me! It will mean war and destruction! Those
creatures lie!”
“How do you know?” Chang asked.
“How do I know anything?”
At this, Chang smirked and walked away.
“Chang!” Nardvark called after him. “Chang!”
It was no use. Nardvark would have to save the planet. He picked
up a few items at the corner store and then went home and concocted another
sandwich, because one cannot be expected to fight crime on an empty stomach.
Then he got on the number 84 bus, which fortunately stopped almost right in
front of his house, and within less than an hour was entering the lobby of
Harvard’s Space Technologies Faculty.
He found Chang on the name board beside the elevators and took the
elevator up to the seventh floor. Around the corner, he paused outside room
706, his hand on the doorknob. This was it. From within he heard the bleeps and
bloops of Magnum, the super computer.
Nardvark slammed his way into the room, whereupon Dr. Chang, his
hand poised at the screen, and several undergrad assistants looked at him. One
of them snickered. At that moment, the recording sounded, just like in his
vision: “Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace.”
All the undergrads gasped in unison. An evil smile crept across
Chang’s face.
“No! I can’t let you do it!” Nardvark lunged at Chang, knocking the
stout professor over with sheer momentum. The computer repeated the message, a
little agitated.
Nardvark and Chang wrestled on the floor for a few minutes, but
Chang was obviously the stronger of the two. Each time Nardvark touched the man’s
skin, he had another sickening moment of terror as the cucumber-ships sprayed
Earth with their cruel green lasers.
Just when it seemed all was lost, Nardvark had an idea. He crawled
under Chang’s desk and found what he was looking for: the power bar! With a
flick of his wrist, Nardvark heroically yanked the plugs out of the power bar.
“What tha’!” The startled voices of the undergrads chorused their
chagrin, as Dr. Chang dropped to his knees, head in his hands, and wailed.
“My Nobel prize! Waahh!”
“That’s right!” Nardvark pulled the power bar out of its wall
socket and swallowed it without a second thought. “Let’s see you plug Magnum
the super computer and all its components back in now, sucker!” He cried
triumphantly.
And so it was that the Earth was saved and another hero was born.
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