Monday, May 11, 2015

Nerdvark Attacks a Great Expectations Essay

Dear Nardvarkians,
 
Sorry for our long absence. We have been on a quest, during which Nerdvark was forced to reside in a compact mirror rendering him too small to work the keyboard on his laptop, thus rendering us unable to blog.
 
To celebrate our return to reality, we have decided to begin answering a poor, suffering student's request to "correct and comment on" her essay. This student is very brave for sending her essay to us, since Nardvark, the nice one, will be busy eating blueberry syrup and salami calzone, as Nerdvark, who has no soul, picks apart the essay word by word, beginning with the title and introduction, below.
 
Sincerely, your favourite oddities,
Nardvark and Nerdvark.



The original:

Essay: Exploring chapter one as an introduction to 'Great Expectations'.

Charles Dickens first chapter of 'Great Expectations' uses setting and atmosphere to create themes such as childhood, terror and crime to hint towards the rest of the plot. Together with interactions between the characters, Pip and Magwitch and their description, this serves as an effective introduction.
 

Every teacher is different, but Nardvark has made some suggestions as to what would make his teacher give an essay such as this one a higher mark.

Nerdvark doesn’t know what the exact assignment was, so will not be able to give this student’s essay a mark or a level, but hopes a few suggestions on style and format will help the student improve her writing in the future.

Nerdvark has thoughtfully coloured any errors in red, and then offered corrections in barf green. His comments are also in barf green. Barf green is not meant to be offensive; it is simply Nerdvark's favourite colour.
 
Essay: Exploring chapter one as an introduction to 'Great Expectations'. Titles should have all main words capitalized. Titles of longer works such as full-length plays, novels, film scripts; basically anything that cannot be read in one sitting, should be underlined: Exploring Chapter One as an Introduction to Great Expectations)

 
Charles Dickens (Dickens’ or Dickens’s) first chapter of 'Great Expectations' (Great Expectations) uses setting and atmosphere to create themes such as childhood, terror and crime (Ah, the infamous Oxford Comma: should we or should we not separate the final two items in a list with a comma? For esthetic reasons, Nerdvark says a resounding “Yes!” for reasons illustrated hereterror, and crime…) to hint towards the rest of the plot. Together with interactions between the characters, Pip and Magwitch (“Pip and Magwitch” in this sentence is a parenthetical, inserted to add details, and should be separated on either side by commas: …, Pip and Magwitch,… ) and their description (descriptions), this serves as an effective introduction. Nardvark’s teacher does not like to read a whole bunch of the same essay, so Nardvark recommends doing your teacher a favour and mixing it up a little with a HOOK and a WOW. (Click for more info)
Nardvark’s teacher also insists that all essay introductions have a little background information. For example, this essay might begin, “Great Expectations by Charles Dickens is set in England in Victorian times, and is considered by critics to be Dickens' most autobiographical novel. Chapter One introduces the young narrator and main character, Pip, and pits him against a horrific fugitive, Magwitch, immediately establishing some of the novel’s main themes: childhood, terror, and crime. Along with the spooky graveyard setting of the first chapter, this creates a dramatic atmosphere.”
 
Thanks for reading! Join us next time as we chew up, spit out, and use for salad dressing the next paragraph of this innocent student's essay.
 
Now that you have done a lot of fantastic learning, it's time for a study break!

 
 


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